what to do?

I don't know what to do. I've put myself in a position in which I don't think SBM wants me to hire me because I've put too much on my plate. welcome to my world. lately, I've been feeling like I'm working towards...nothing. it's not the number of hours per week I'm committed to; it's the amount of bullshit I'm willing to endure in the meantime. why, for instance, am I working from 4am-9am for 650 an hour? that's not right. I don't even get to do/access the things I want to. why, too, am I agreeing to do all these things for my aunt and uncle (aka check their bank account) when I don't check my own? I don't want to reach my wit's end.

I need to email ron and his intern, courtney. I need to let ron know that I'm willing to negotiate my position here since I'm supposed to use this place as a launching pad anyway. then I'm going to ask courtney how she likes the position. so far I've felt good about ron and jeremy, but that doesn't always mean anything.

I'm babbling because I'm tired. I went to britt's last night and didn't go to bed till around 11. then gracie was being a pain, so britt got up to yell at her in the middle of the night. that cut out some of my sleep time. I'll try and get a nap today for sure.

steven was being so adorable yesterday. I could steal him forever. I think I will.

8:15. I can't keep my eyes open. I know as soon as I go home, I probably won't be able to go to sleep. I just need another hour or two. gracie was pissed that she was left out last night, and she let us know all damn night. I don't know exactly what she was doing, but britt woke up like the devil - yelling at her, slamming doors, everything. it was such a good night for sleeping. damn I'm crabby. I need sleep!!!