Thursday, December 23, 2010

'tis almost christmas...

these days, like most days, I need a positive outlet for negative thoughts - like the thinking about how much my co-worker takes advantage of me. or how much money I need to pay back for student loans. or how annoying my bf is when he's sick. so here I am! trying to outlet!

eric, my love, has been sick for probably two weeks now. when he first started to feel gross, he was like, 'I'm getting sick.' look, if you're not feeling 100%, start doing proactive things to feel better, or look up ways to avoid getting sick. don't allow it to happen, you know? it's especially frustrating because he can't take meds, so he has to rely on all of the other means to feel better and stay healthy. INSTEAD he's been miserable and has made me nuts.

I hate, hate, hate when someone tries to be a 'victim.' I stood for a minute as he started to cough but then had to walk away because he was so pathetic. I know I sound horribly insensitive and mean, but I can't stand that shit. I was home for 10 seconds and had looked up ways to get better instead of allowing him to stay miserable. I'd just hope that he doesn't want to be disgusting sick and whatnot....I mean, for god's sake, he farted on my leg. almost deliberately. as if I wasn't already sick of his crap, he fucking farted on my leg. GUH.

ok I'm done.

on another note, I'm really excited about christmas! I can't wait to give eric some of the presents I got for him. tomorrow (xmas eve) I have to work 630-3, then I'm going to gma's as per the usual plans. saturday eric and I are going to just hang out in our pj's all day and enjoy each other. that'll be a really nice day of smiles, coffee, hot chocolate and snuggling. I miss him, the real him...I talk like I haven't been around him for weeks, but he's such a pain in the ass right now that I've been escaping as often as I can.

tonight or tomorrow I still want to get a couple more things for him (napkin holder, sponge holder, tea, maybe candy, etc.). I also need to get stuff for xmas bfast and other meals. and coffee. I hope that at some point I'll start bleeding money to pay for all this shit.

in other news, I was glancing through his phone yesterday being nosy, and I saw an email from shaneco. eep! don't ask me how or if he has the money for anything diamond-y, but hey, a girl can dream, can't she?

hopefully the day ends soon. I'm so tired of my non-present co-worker. off to look at wedding dresses to pass the time!