ugggggggggggggggh I hate being hungover. i spent way too much money last night (i shouldn't have spent any) and I still managed to be mad at steven. man I don't trust lisa. she is really getting under my skin lately. I don't want to be around her, I don't want steven to hang out with her, and I've stopped being nice to her. I don't think I need someone in my life who has such a negative effect on me. it's not just me either. she gives off a nasty vibe to almost everyone I know. steven took her home last night, leaving me at the bar with toby for over an hour. I was so pissed. why did he have to take her? she knew everyone else there, so why did it have to be him? it didn't bother me until today when I had more time to think about it. I don't need to stress about it though because her negativity is only perpetuating itself if I do let it bother me.

toby was fun. he has the most beautiful eyes. I shouldn't have spent so much time with him. I don't know if I should hang out with steven's friends, or if i do, I need to stop flirting with them altogether. I guess I lead them on unknowingly and it's been getting me into some tough situations lately. at one point last night toby was talking really closely to me, and steven was walking up with beers (this was while we were at the racetrack) and saw this exchange. he got all huffy because all he saw was this guy (he didn't realize it was toby) talking to me in my intimate space. he was walking rather quickly towards us, and he said "oh, it's toby. I was thinking 'who is that guy talkin to my woman, and why is james allowing it???'" toby is one thing, but matt? oh man. I'm not some hot shit woman and I probably would never date any of his friends, but man...sometimes I think they're overly interested in me. I wonder if they really dig me? I don't like to think about it much because, well, it's not worth it. I try not to talk about it either for simple reasons, one being that no one wants to hear me say, "oh yeah they want me." whatever. as long as things continue the way they are, then I should be with steven forever, and that's a-ok with me :):) <3