Friday, September 14, 2007

if this one bitch tells me my business one more time, I might shank her.

in other news, my dad is supposed to come home today, though I really don't think he's ready to. donna is a complete idiot and will probably not be helpful to him at all, and my grandma (while behaving rather well considering the circumstances) has only a little bit of breathing room before she likely becomes unreasonable. my dad will be in outpatient care for a while, but that's not going to fix the fact that he can't stand, sit up or do anything on his own. why would we want to risk him falling already? and he needs a lot more nourishment (via food and supplements), so don't the doctors want to monitor his nutritional intake? lastly, if he was bad enough to put himself in the hospital after his stint at being home, then why does anyone think he's ok enough to sustain his well-being a little over a week after checking in??? alcoholism doesn't just GO AWAY, in case they didn't get the memo!!!

to top it all off, who is to say that donna isn't dumping that shit down his throat? and she has no idea how to take care of him, nor does she show any inclination to maintain a lifestyle that's healthy enough to keep my dad alive. she doesn't know any other way to cope! will she just revert back to her old ways? there is no feasible way we can assume that she is in the right state of mind when she's been drinking, so I can imagine that she'll likely give him a drink when he instead needs professional help.

I hate this whole situation. it's killing kristin because she feels really guilty that she didn't recognize the signs of how bad it really is. his nutritional state is so bad that the damage is irreversible. though we know it's not her fault, we can't fully convince her. I would probably feel the same way which is an unfortunate reality of being children of an alcoholic. I'm going to call her today to see how she is doing and to try and give her as much support as possible. she really needs it.

I've been thinking about possibly writing my memoirs, perhaps masked in the form of a novel. I wouldn't want my family to read it necessarily, but I think it would be a funny play-on of suburbanite life - and the non-secrets that no one really talks about (if that makes any sense). I need to start sometime in the hopes of finishing it before I DIE. then I might be able to finally support my family like I always wanted to. I don't know....we'll see I hope.

I'm going to drink my free starbucks and try not to shank the bitch in ENG so I can finish out my shift. have a lovely day :)

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