Tuesday, July 7, 2009

I am so 'in like.'

so, I've met someone. to say he's great would be an understatement. I can't help it: I'm smitten. his name is eric, and he's a high school english teacher (a word guy!!!). midway through our first date, he told me he's also in a band. !!! that like upped his sexiness factor by at least 30%. he's tall (about 6'2") and shaves his head bald (which I love) and almost every time I think about him I smile.

god, this is scary. but so far it's good.

you know, I figured it'd be harder than this to transition into being in a different relationship, but it's been much easier than I thought. I mean, minus the year or more I've tortured myself with steven. I have to forgive myself for being so naiive, so tolerant of the bad things. I don't know eric very well, but is he who I've been looking for or hoping for all this time? I don't know.

but he's great.

I really don't want to speak too soon, but I can see a future with this guy. speaking of soon, is it really too soon to say I miss being around him? I can't wait for the next time we get to hang out. is this what everyone has told me to hold out for?

is this a gift from my dad? is it??!

because he's such a gift. this has pulled me up out of a funk I never imagined was so deep. we met almost two weeks ago at a bar, for god's sake. brittany and I had gotten drunk at the cards game, then went to a bar and made friends with just about anyone we could talk to, then sang our hearts out in karaoke. there was this guy there who I thought was cute - he was wearing a bowler hat. anyway, britt and I rocked out and ended up singing bohemian rhapsody, which was the last song of the night. I vaguely remember talking to hat guy (i.e. eric), and he handed me his phone number. ha! I was so caught off guard I just stood there for a minute like an idiot.

there I was, drunk as a skunk, and I happened to meet some random guy AT A BAR while I was wearing something really impressive (uuuh, that's a lie - I was wearing a black tank and camo shorts with chewed-up flip flops). what's really a mind fuck is that I actually called him. I NEVER call guys!! I'd like to time travel back to that night to figure out what the HELL I was thinking.

to continue the story, mr bowler hat called me the next day. I was so chicken shit that I texted him rather than called him back. to tell the truth (and for the record, I admitted this to him), I was completely embarrassed of my behavior that fateful fri night. I couldn't even remember what he looked like. I wasn't even sure what his name was till he said it in the voicemail he left me. after talking to britt, she said he was eyeing me that night....

ok, here's where I'm confused. I'm telling you, there was nothing spectacular about me that night except for my amazing capacity to keep drinking past the point of no return. I was wasted, I didn't look adorable as far as I was concerned (my hair was even pulled into a ponytail), and I don't really remember any noteworthy conversations we had. so why.......? I had the gall to ask him on our first date. wtf did you call me??

I just think it was ballsy.

so he's nothing like I usually date, though he is tall and good-looking. he's emotional, smart, he likes art (we're going to the art museum tomorrow), he's educated, he gives a shit about things that go beyond him....wow I really like him.

can I say it?? can I????!!!!!!!

I can't. not yet.

but ps he's a really good kisser. and I can't stop thinking about getting him in bed. what is wrong with me?!!

oh, to just continue the list of Good, he's also really close to his family, especially his older sister, and he's mildly obsessed with his 1 y.o. niece. awesome.

I really can't wait to see how this turns out.

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