this post is mainly designed so that I don't decide to freak out at work. it's a necessary distraction. it's a leap into a safe place so that I don't spiral into a world of misery.
basically, today is one of those days that I hate my job and I need to chill the fuck out.
my faith in being here for a reason is dwindling...I thought, look thea: this is a great place with a great mission, you're getting paid, you're getting benefits, it's steady. but I'm a fucking receptionist. and I'm tired of getting calls from bill collectors because I can't pay them.
all right, the list can go on and on, but it's not a good idea for me to perseverate on the bad since it's already fucking with my head as is. I think my period is on the way out which is why today isn't a GREAT day.
I get so frustrated for those reasons cited, but I get extra frustrated when I think that I SO could be working 'upstairs' with the creds I have. again, I need to chill out and bide my time. things happen when I'm patient - or, rather, I'm a lot more relaxed and happy if I don't dwell on the shortcomings of my present situation.
god, I hope and hope that the marketing/development job works out in the future! I hope I can stick it out in the meantime! I think everything will work out the way it's supposed to. I just need another boost in faith!
in other news, eric and I are in good standing after more than a few blowouts in the last 3-4 months. this summer was tough, even tougher than when his dad lived with us. I came home one night to a locked house and serious bullshit on his part, so I moved my shit OUT. we eventually worked through the worst of it and only recently had another big fight. that one sent me to my mom's for a weekend for some much-needed time away, and we settled back into good things.
I'm set to move out of my aparment (officially) by the middle of october. eric told me a while ago that he was hoping to buy me a sparkly piece of jewelry by next spring. very exciting! however, the air conditioner broke at our house, so we might have to wait for any crazy plans to happen until that's fixed. oh, life.
eric just played REM in the undercover weekend last week. it was awesome...who knew he could play a homosexual in makeup so well?! he did great. I personally think they stole the show, and the RFT wrote them up well.
on the familial front, kristin and tim are still married, though tim can forget that he's no longer a bachelor - he's a dad and a husband. frustrating at times for us and kristin. sylvia needs to get counseling because she's struggling with her current role as mom - it's what she wants, yet she's seemingly always MISERABLE and is making us all accodingly crazy. mom and tim are great. jill and brian are coming in town early october. jill recently got hit by a truck; it smashed her foot fairly badly, but she's ok (...for having been hit by a freakin truck). mac is adorable; he and toby are slowwwwwly getting used to each other. malachi and myella are getting bigger and more beautiful every day. eric's mom sent him a bday card. his dad is more tolerable. his sister is more selfish.
that's the update. maybe more to come soon...